Faceless friends

Social networking

Faceless friends

Mar 7th 2012, 8:54 by G.F. | SOUTH PORTLAND, MAINE

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"YOU'RE not on Facebook?" one of Babbage's friends asked another, Caty, in disbelief not long after your correspondent and a few chums met up in Maine recently. No, Caty said. Raising a child by herself and working full time, coupled with the commute time for travel within a couple of boroughs of New York City, fills her days and nights enough already, she said. Facebook would start carving into sleep, already in short supply.

As the weekend progressed, however, it became increasingly clear just how much social information we derive from Facebook nowadays. What do you make of so-and-so's divorce? Isn't such-and-such's baby adorable? Caty was clueless. The rest of us had moved into the panopticon without realising it.

Your correspondent views Facebook as a necessary evil. It is the only effortless way to stay in touch with acquaintances stretching across many years, cities and companies. Sure, he appreciates Facebook's physical infrastructure and technical expertise. But he prefers to pour his heart and soul into the more ephemeral and chatty Twitter where, to his surprise, he continues to make new friends. (In the last two weeks, Babbage has met in person another dozen people he previously knew solely through Twitter, or reconnected from long ago through the network. As he first discovered a year ago, they have turned out to be just what they seemed. Whether they had the same impression of him is another matter.)

Another friend, Dana, is an occasional user of the service. She has purposely kept her house in Massachusetts free of Wi-Fi to avoid the constant thrum of social media. When she is not sitting in front of her desktop computer, she is happily disconnected. She prefers to paint. Jessica, a graphic designer, finds that Facebook interaction drains her of the energy needed for face-to-face socialising. Your correspondent dips into Facebook for the latest bon mots, baby pictures and like-minded political outrage, but tries to limit himself to a few minutes a day.

Facebook reinforces strong ties with weak interactions. The weekend reunion took place because of a rapid-fire volley of Facebook Wall exchanges, which then migrated into e-mail. Without that initial spark, though, the get-together would probably not have taken place.

We needled Caty (who was recruited by e-mail) all weekend because we miss her virtual company. All of us live too far apart for regular physical encounters. We hoped to rope her into the environment we ourselves have only reluctantly embraced. At the same time, we fretted we might succeed. E-mail is, after all, a richer, and more deliberate medium than Facebook. That is also its main flaw. Every missive takes on too much import. Facebook, Twitter and the like allow the kind of unimportant banter that binds old friends together, and sometimes helps you make new ones.

On his way back to Seattle, Babbage fired up Twitter. He noted a new follower. Caty was cajoled into one new medium, at least. Hope she gets some sleep.